The Ryan Van Winkle Chronicles

This is Ryan Van Winkle.

One dark and stormy night, Ryan Van Winkle said he would never read my blog.

Never.

Ever.

And so I threatened to write an entire blog entry all about him.

The whole

Darned

Thing.

To see if his vanity could possibly keep him away from Googling it just to see-

to see-

If I'd dared go through with it.

Which I am. Right now.

Ryan says some pretty funny things. In fact, on the right day with Ryan, you could close your eyes and pretend you were actually having a conversation with Dimitri Martin. His homespun wisdom makes a kind of eternal sense. To the comment
"I don't really like New York."

Ryan replies: I have never had a blowjob in New York.

Which is a valid point. Especially as Ryan is from Connecticut.

Later, while discussing an artist's squat he and some friends had to live in for a few months he said,

"Those were some of the greatest months of my life...." and triumphantly raising his fist he says, "There Were Blowjobs!"

I'm making Ryan sound all wrong here. Or possibly all right. Well not alright, but correct is what I meant to say.

I mean, most of all, Ryan is a good poet, an interesting person, and if he's reading this now, vain enough that he just lost the bet.

I hope you run into him one of these days. He'll rub you the wrong way at first- a sandpaper coat with a cotton lining.

A coat that I hear is really into blowjobs. Fair enough.