A scene in which I nearly commit to New York

With the Under the Radar festival at the Public Theatre in full swing it seemed particularly apt that I post this little nugget on the blog as the first offering of 2010. I wrote this just before leaving New York city after a week's stay at the end of November last year.

New York and I are walking hand in hand. We come upon Penn Station.

Me: So. This is my stop.

NY: Sorry?

Me: I’ve got to go home. I’ve got a bus to catch.

NY: Waitaminute, you’re going?

Me: Well, yeah. I told you I was only here for a few –

NY: You’re not staying?

Me: No, I mean, I’ve got a bus to –

NY: I know all about your bus.

Me: So?

NY: It’s just – like – I was so nice to you.

Me: Well, yeah. We had a great time.

NY: I mean, I’m usually a real bitch to people, did you know that?

Me: I – I’ve heard, but - It’s just, this was never meant to be a permanent - I always told you I lived somewhere else

NY: Yeah that bitch London.

Me: She’s not that bitch, she’s my bitch.

NY: She’s emotionally abusing you. It’s such a joke. You can’t even see it.

Me: That may be true, but –

NY: You never stop complaining about her. How do you think she’d like it if she knew all the horrible things you say about her when she’s not around?

Me: She does know. She’s okay with it. That’s sort of the way we roll.

NY: And besides, everybody likes me better.

Me: Well, I’m not everybody.

NY: (Pause. NY takes this in.) Whatever. Do you really think I need you? I’ve got the most famous and powerful people in the world at my beck and call.

Me: I know.

NY: So I don’t need you.

Me: I know.

NY: And I’m usually a real bitch, did you know that? You should be kissing my feet for showing you such a good time.

Me: You said that.

NY: Bowing down and kissing them.

I kiss NY’s hand.

NY: But… you said you loved me?

Me: I do. And I’ll miss you. Thank you for this.

NY: Well that’s fine cause I’ll forget all about you.

Me: I know you will. But thanks all the same.