Saturday, 21 June 2008

Zombie chops

True to form, here is the third day in a row that I keep my possibly unreasonable promise to write every day. Now I want to clarify for a moment - this was not a *promise*, (ignore the first sentence then) more of an attempt. A good ole college try. But I'm still good ole college trying. So here we are, day three, what goes on in this brain.

Okay, well for one, I've been working at Toynbee Studios as an usher this week, and truly the live art that is put on there at the moment Must have been engineered by the Negaverse. (If you got the reference we are equally nerdy, and therefore I need not feel any embarassment whatsoever. Huzaa!)

Picture this - a screen which occasionally flashed an existential German Film, some people dancing behind the screen, and a sound like being in the middle of an engine tank or a crazy person's brain that just keeps droning and droning and droning, interrupted by an occasional person dressed all in black singing a disturbingly off key version of "I'm beginning to see the Light!" with black soot in his mouth, or the entire company doing a squatting dance with large black holes sewn onto their pants right about where their anuses should be. Did I just write Anus in the blog? Yes I did. This is the kind of show that merits writing Anus. Anus Anus Anus. Gawd if I weren't being paid to steward I would steadily be losing two and a half hours of my life for watching the thing, but luckily I am being paid, so tonight I'll bring an ipod and put it all the way up, then lay back and listen to Paul Simon or someone equally pleasant while the dancers continue to do their zombie like movements and their anus inspired squatting dance.

I want you to think of a general London Malaise - think of the worst possible feeling that being on the tube in rush hour unemployed could possibly give you, amplify that by ten and then turn it into a performance and you would be me last night. Looking around a filthy and dark auditorium (popcorn and coke cans on the floor are part of the show) at all of the other people watching, while outside there were the occasional sounds of sirens and people screaming, the other people in the dark kept watching, they just kept watching, like the whole city had to be dead inside. This was like some odd nightmare to which I never want to return. I had a dream about fighting zombies last night the show had effected me so fiercely. I'd rather fight zombies than watch this show again. Anyway, was trying to be impartial since I am being paid to usher the thing, but sometimes performance is an obstrusively bad thing.


Sorry. The ringing hasn't stopped yet.

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